The families, as complex interaction systems, They are more than a group of individuals connected by blood ties.. over time, shared narratives are created, beliefs and “myth” that influence behavior and relationships within that system. These family myths, although they are often not aware, profoundly affect the way members perceive themselves, They interact with each other and relate to the outside world.
In this article we will explore what family myths are., how they are formed, its impact on family dynamics, and how they can be challenged or transformed to promote a healthier environment.
What are family myths?
Family myths are stories, unwritten norms or shared beliefs that explain behavior, values and interactions within a family. Often, These myths are not questioned and are accepted as absolute truths. They may include rules about how each member should behave., what emotions are acceptable or unacceptable, or even the roles that different members must fulfill within the family system.
For example, A common myth could be that of “the family should always stay together, no matter what happens”. This myth can lead to unrealistic expectations and conflict when family members do not live up to this belief..
Formation of family myths
Family myths are not created deliberately; rather, They emerge through everyday interactions and narratives passed down from generation to generation.. The parents, grandparents and other older family members often instill these myths, sometimes explicitly, but often through examples or implicit expectations.
Myths can also be linked to significant events in family history., like migration, the disease, or the loss of a loved one. As family members try to make sense of these events, can construct narratives that help them cope, but they can also generate limiting or dysfunctional beliefs.
Common Types of Family Myths
1. Myths about the role of members: Families often unconsciously assign roles to their members., like him “leader“, he “carer“, he “rebel“, or the “bad boy“. These roles, although they may have a short-term purpose, limit personal growth and freedom.
2. Myths about emotions: In some families, There may be a myth that emotions are weak or inadequate.. “don't cry“, “men should not show feelings“, o “It is unacceptable to get angry in this family” are examples of how certain feelings can be suppressed or misinterpreted.
3. Myths about success and failure: Families often have deeply held beliefs about success and failure. Some may instill the idea that “if you are not successful, you are not valuable” o “failure is a reflection of character weakness“.
4. Myths about the relationship between generations*: “Young people don't understand anything” o “the elders are always right” are examples of how generations within a family can hold beliefs that affect communication and mutual respect.
Impact of family myths on family dynamics
Family myths have a profound impact on the way family members relate to each other and the construction of each member's individual identity.
– Affected self-esteem: When family myths reinforce the idea that only certain behaviors or achievements are valid, members may feel that they are not meeting expectations, which negatively impacts your self-esteem.
– Compliance and submission: Family members may feel pressure to fulfill assigned roles, even if these don't reflect your true self, which can lead to internal conflicts or resentments.
– Intergenerational cycles: Many times, Family myths are passed from one generation to the next, creating cycles of dysfunctional behavior. For example, If material success is valued excessively in a family, descendants may feel that their value is based solely on their achievements, perpetuating a superficial approach to success.
Challenging and transforming family myths
It is possible to change or challenge family myths, although this process is usually complex and requires time and reflection. Here are some steps that may be helpful:
1. Awareness and reflection: The first step is to identify the family myths that operate in daily life. What beliefs or narratives are constantly repeated in your family?? What emotions or behaviors seem to be “prohibited” or little accepted?
2. Open dialogue: Encouraging open and honest communication within the family can help challenge myths and offer new perspectives.. Family therapy can also be an effective tool to explore and transform these myths..
3. Promotion of new narratives: As dysfunctional myths are identified, you can work on creating new, healthier family stories, based on acceptance, respect and authenticity.
4. Self-care and self-esteem: For individuals who have grown up under certain family myths, Personal work on strengthening self-esteem and self-identity is essential to free yourself from these limiting patterns..
Conclusion
Family myths are deeply held beliefs that influence the way members of a family perceive themselves and relate to each other.. These myths can be beneficial in some cases, but when they become dysfunctional, can create conflicts and emotional difficulties. Recognizing these myths and working on their transformation can be a crucial step in creating a healthier family dynamic and promoting the individual well-being of each member..